Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Misspending your vacations !!

Every day passes by, and here I lay sat on my bed, wheeling away time as if it was some kind of entity to be expended to death. Exam nights remind me of how precociously precious time is, how I craved for every bit of it then. And now, with all the time in the world, apparently 75 days, I have nothing to do. Life comes up with such irony, even an Oscar winning movie hasn't got better story line and subplots. Fate has been hard on me, as has been on so many other people trudging away on this planet. Each minute is a struggle, thinking about how the world would be better again when all miseries come to an end. A try at a trivial sort of thing did not come to pass due to lack of motivation and a lackadaisical attitude, as most of my friends would disagree, I even found the name of the course too tedious, and how the journey from home to the supposedly hallowed Indian Institute of Technology, Guwahati campus squeezed every bit of life in me. I had reservations, they had the same too. The fact that I didn't enroll for that particular course earlier didn't put me in a good stead and that I had just recovered from a horrific leg break pushed me to the exit doors. Then as the script was written for me to suffer, a bout of fever, accompanied by malaise and headaches and wow, I just had another attack on my rather fragile immune system. Till date the worst nights of my life, how I managed to turn the corner is open to the jury. And now here I am, at the end of a month of vacations, having done nothing apart from writing petty, insignificant stuffs on the web. I feel myself being cursed, being not able to influence my own life in my own way. Every vacation passes by, the same thoughts gather pace in my mind, that I would be doing things the better way from next time onwards. It is hope that fuels the human soul, hope to improve upon something that's been done. No man is content, and I am not any peculiar. As some anonymous quote goes," Freedom from desire leads a man to inner peace." I can't beg to disagree more, no man can claim freedom from desire nor can he enjoy inner peace. That is why we are called humans. And it is better if we learn to enjoy our travails and move on, because we do not have a choice.